{"product_id":"goddamnit-donut-runners-headband","title":"Goddamnit Donut! Runner's Headband","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEpic Item\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cem\u003e(Emotionally unstable. Surprisingly moisture-wicking.)\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription: \u003c\/strong\u003eEvery runner has a moment. Maybe it's mile three. Maybe it's mile ten. Maybe it's halfway through your warmup when your GPS refuses to connect and your shoelace comes untied for the second time. That's when it happens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Goddamnit, Donut!\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNobody knows exactly why you're yelling it. Maybe you're talking to the voice in your head. Maybe you're talking to the universe. Maybe you're talking to someone who absolutely deserves it. It doesn't matter. The headband understands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing the iconic explosion of barely controlled chaos, this headband is scientifically engineered* to absorb sweat while broadcasting to the world that you've reached the point where profanity has become cardio fuel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e*Science not independently verified by anyone you'd trust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePassive Ability — Cardio Profanity: \u003c\/strong\u003eThe first time you swear during a run, all subsequent swearing feels 18% more satisfying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePassive Ability — Emotional Damage Resistance: \u003c\/strong\u003eMinor inconveniences—including headwinds, surprise hills, untied shoes, slow walkers, unleashed dogs, and people who stop in the middle of the trail—have a reduced chance of ruining your workout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eActive Skill — Finish Anyway: \u003c\/strong\u003eWhen you are absolutely certain you can't keep going, this item has a small chance to remind you that you've been lying to yourself for the last mile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSystem Warning: \u003c\/strong\u003eThis item does \u003cstrong\u003enot\u003c\/strong\u003e improve your pace. It merely ensures everyone within earshot knows exactly how you feel about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct: Sport-Tek STA46 Sport-Tek ® Contender ™ Headband. STA46\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3.8 oz.,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% polyester jersey\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMoisture-wicking\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRemovable tag for comfort and relabeling\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Crawler's on the Run","offers":[{"title":"Vintage Hthr \/ ONE SIZE","offer_id":55251021660465,"sku":"19g64bmrjm42to","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tr Navy Hthr \/ ONE SIZE","offer_id":55251021693233,"sku":"19g64bmrjm42tp","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite Hthr \/ ONE SIZE","offer_id":55251021726001,"sku":"19g64bmrjm42tq","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/4521\/0417\/files\/ninjapod_13198969_f_STA46_8e41_f.jpg?v=1783971092","url":"https:\/\/crawlers-on-the-run.myshopify.com\/products\/goddamnit-donut-runners-headband","provider":"Crawlers on the Run","version":"1.0","type":"link"}