{"product_id":"this-is-an-outrage-runners-loot-box-performance-fanny-pack","title":"\"This Is an Outrage!\" Runner's Loot Box (Performance Fanny Pack)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLegendary Container\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cem\u003e(Inventory Slots: Never Enough.)\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription: \u003c\/strong\u003eEvery crawler needs somewhere to stash the important stuff. Your keys. Your phone. Your energy gels. The emergency gummy bears you swore you weren't going to eat until mile ten. This isn't just a running belt. It's your personal loot box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWrapped in the unmistakable \u003cstrong\u003e\"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e graphic and watched over by Her Royal Majesty herself, this performance fanny pack carries your most valuable treasures while silently judging your organizational skills. Because rummaging around for a gel while running is beneath royalty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePassive Ability — Expanded Inventory: \u003c\/strong\u003eStores all essential loot, including: Energy gels, Electrolytes, Car keys, Phone, ID, Hobgoblin dynamite, you know, the usual. Somehow there's still room for one more thing. Nobody knows how.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eActive Skill — Quick Loot: \u003c\/strong\u003eRetrieve an energy gel without breaking stride. \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eSuccess Rate:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eDepends entirely on whether you packed it intelligently. If not...This is an outrage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRoyal Bonus — Princess Approved: \u003c\/strong\u003eWhenever you unzip your loot box, imagine Princess Donut peering inside. If she finds your snacks crushed beneath your keys... Expect disappointment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSystem Warning\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis item is classified as a Loot Container.\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eDo not be surprised if fellow runners ask, \u003cem\u003e\"What are you carrying in there?\" \u003c\/em\u003eThe correct answer is: \"Treasure.\" Even if it's just fruit snacks and ibuprofen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct: Port Authority BG936 Port Authority® Matte Hip Pack\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSmooth matte polyester with knitted cloth\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eZippered main compartment\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDyed-to-match metal zipper pulls\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInterior pocket\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDyed-to-match molded zipper\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAdjustable waist strap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDimensions: 5\"h x 8\"w x 1.7\"d\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCapacity: 45.8 cu. in.\/0.75 L\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWeight: 0.2 lbs.\/0.1 kg\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Crawlers on the Run","offers":[{"title":"Storm Grey \/ ONE SIZE","offer_id":55251362611505,"sku":"19g64bmrjyofwz","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"RiverBlNv \/ ONE SIZE","offer_id":55251362644273,"sku":"19g64bmrjyofx5","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Deep Black \/ ONE SIZE","offer_id":55251362677041,"sku":"19g64bmrjyofx9","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/4521\/0417\/files\/ninjapod_13201216_f_BG936_d57e_f.jpg?v=1783992051","url":"https:\/\/crawlers-on-the-run.myshopify.com\/products\/this-is-an-outrage-runners-loot-box-performance-fanny-pack","provider":"Crawlers on the Run","version":"1.0","type":"link"}